Human relations are complex and beautiful. Though people and their behavior is unpredictable yet they bring happiness most of the time in our life. We cherish the memories with our people and they certainly make our life worth living.
Our whole life directly or indirectly revolves around people from our birth till our last breath.
Human beings are the biggest source and contributor of energy, learning, affection, inspiration, recreation and communication for everyone. That’s why they are referred as “social beings”. Therefore, we can easily say that all our wants, needs, dreams and desires get fulfilled by people around us. Thus, we study, play, joke, talk, eat, work, ride, enjoy, party or go out with our friends, companions, colleagues, class mates, acquaintances, cousins, family. These people could subsequently become our teacher, mentor, guide, coach and philosopher at some point of time.
From times immemorial till this era of Millennium, nothing has really changed when talk about our social preferences. We are constantly engaging with people, thereby spending a significant amount of time with them on daily basis. And without any doubt, our “near and dear” ones are incredibly with us during our good and bad times. Further, let me take pride in saying that we celebrate all festivals, joyous moments, birthday celebrations enthusiastically with our lovely people. In short, their sheer presence during crisis situation provides us immense strength to fight any difficult situation or recover from the worst health complications. Thus, they motivate us to give our best even in the most stressful times. It sounds funny but true that even while dreaming, we are most of the time engaging with our people.
If people were so important to all of us, then why the hell do we condemn them or their behavior? Why do we get hurt and hurt them too? Why do we ridicule them by calling these very people complex creatures with unpredictable behavior? Why do we curse them or humiliate them?
To answer the above questions and as per my thought process, we should not generalize a behavior to conclude or form a perception from few unpleasant experiences, situations or interactions.
So, what do we do? The best we could do is to always analyse a situation through “occurrence test of reality” model. This test assesses a person and his character along with measuring his credibility by going through his past record while he had interacted with you some time in the past. Assuming, he has supported you more than fifty per cent of the time in the past. This percentage implies that he is definitely a well-wisher and only last few times, he has not been able to support you. And this change in his behavior last few times could be due to an uncontrolled circumstance at his end. This could also be due to his inability to do so on account of his changing priorities or commitments. So, this change could be a transient phase and might get over soon.
A matured person therefore could at times ignore or forget such a recent behavior than taking it personally and showing his resentment. Least he is expected to do is bitching about that person or feeling shattered with the changed behavior. To put it in a perspective, give this person a benefit of doubt once. And do remember, we as human beings do forget several things on lot of occasions.
Further, let us discuss about another issue observed in most of the relationships. Most often, as our relationship evolves, there is a whole lot of expectation burden surrounding it. As a result, this burden starts bothering our relationship, thus leading to numerous quarrels, misunderstandings and bitter feelings.
A sensible person should minimize his expectations as increasing expectations could turn beautiful relationship into unnecessary trouble. Further, please note reciprocation in any relationship is important but it should not create obstacles in a healthy relationship with boggling expectations.
Few important take away could be: Empathizing with your near and dear ones and extending our support unconditionally can work wonders thereby sowing seeds of a platonic relationship. Another take away is not reacting immediately and aggressively to hated arguments, nasty messages, sensitive points. Keeping it for another time could actually save our relationships from getting ruined for ever.
Further, there could be occasions when you continue to get perturbed by your near and dear ones changing behavior or you experienced his behavior has become negative towards you. In this case, the most preferred thing would be to speak candidly to the concerned person than keeping it within yourself and waiting for a later date in future.
Be precise, transparent and courageous to communicate your feelings. Feel free to elaborate as to how his changing behavior is affecting you.
As a rule, eliminate the scope of any negative feelings, traits and emotions in a relationship. It is not at all advisable being fake, dishonest, hypocrite, suspecting, being possessive, jealous in a healthy relationship.
Respect and value all your relationships. They are an integral part of our life. At the same time, let’s also accept that relationships could go through ups and downs of life. Every single day, you have to invest your time and positive energy for them to evolve and succeed. Being honest always helps in building a robust friendship.